Nobody’s faster at chocolate milk sipping than grandpa…
Each week The Sunday Whirl invites writers to write a poem or short prose using some or all of the “Wordle’s” 12 words. This week it is:
I used to be a champion at speed sipping
chocolate milk through a straw.
I liked the old paper straws, the ones with red and white stripes that
twisted round each other. The plastic ones with the large
roller coaster loops were fun to watch, but took too much time.
The chocolate flew up-side-down and loop-de-looped wildly until I got yelled at
by ma to stop playing with my drink. I hated the ones with the
crinkled neck that you could bend in all directions to fit the angle
of your mouth. The crick-crick-crick of that articulation,
like a transit bus bending round a corner, was as bad as my friend Santos cracking
his knuckles on each fist, one-at-a-time.
I decide to challenge my grandson to a sipping contest
while we are chowing down on burgers and a basket of fries.
Under the guise of having been the best sipper when I was his age,
I boast that like a knight of old, I could smite the best chocolate milk suckers
as if I was dispensing deplorable jousters at a spring tourney.
Huh? Is his response. What are you saying, grandpa?
Never you mind, I say. Do you dare try to rise to the challenge?
And in the end writhe in the fire of chocolate milk despair?
I don’t understand a word, grandpa, but yeah, I’m ready.
His little face aglow with anticipation.
Then let us dye our lips, I cry, with that sweet brown substance,
and pointing heaven-ward I finish with,
May the gods of yore smile upon us both.
Oh, grandpa. Just start sipping and get ready to lose.
I raise a gray and hairy eyebrow towards him, smile, and purse my lips.
I love this thoroughly sweet tale. Just love it. 🙂
Thank you. Feel like jousting with straws at the count of three?
Now you mention straws they do define when we were young – I was generation plastic loopy straw..which was less infuriating if you blew than sucked (hope you won;)
I hated to blow because then I’d laugh, inhale, and it all came out trough my nose.
Who won? I bet you couldn’t hold a straw to him!
If his name was Harry then this is a straw dinner Harry story!
Ok. You win!
I did an internet search for a straw dinner and straw dinner Harry reference and only found a reference to a restaurant (Harry’s New York)and to Harry Potter. Two references to Potter’s, The Last Straw, Chpts. 1 and 3- and couldn’t make any connection. Help.
If I added ‘Ex’ to it, would it help? Though people often leave it out.
It is an extraordinarily dreadful pun.
Oy, you are as good as me in making someone stretch to get the pun you’re trying to make. Yes, I needed the “ex” to sound it out properly.
What fun, Randy! I remember way back in grade school when someone in the room laughed (or coughed or something) while drinking milk from one of those little cartons with a straw. The carton shot forward, dousing the student ahead of him with milk. 🙂
That made smile. Thanks, Janet