Lillie Mcferrin posts a “five sentence fiction” prompt.
This week it is: Flawed
Below is the picture she has posted on her site:
The Dreaming Place
Some say I am flawed, and certainly that is the case, as I make no claims to perfection.
My leaves are spent, my bark is weathered like an old person’s psoriasis, and my trunk is completely exposed as if I had worn knee-high socks for so many years that all of my protective husk has been rubbed away from my calf down to my toes.
I am an old man, gnarly, arthritic, and twisted, yet pleased to ask you to come closer as I have something to tell you, something I want to be whispered only for your ears.
See that sky, and those dark swift moving clouds, which are burdened with memories, blocking the light of day, traveling with that blur of buildings and trees in the background, all leading to a horizon which zeniths into one central point at my left, the center of everything – and though you may look at me for a moment, it is that small apex that everything ultimately leads to.
I am an illusion, a passing object, all that which surrounded me now longer is, I stand lonely in what was once my grove, all those that I had grown with and loved have preceded me to that incomparable cusp that I have shown to you; and it is now my time to travel through this chiaroscuro, and having readied myself, I have begun to walk, slowly and proudly, though limping, looking forward to and grateful for the moment when I will stand in the center of that transcendent dreaming place.
I love this. I always enjoy what you create.
I will be back to 5SF. I’m on a break as I travel with my trucker husband, taking notes for future writing. I’ll be posting, but can’t keep up with memes.
I will be reading, though!
Enjoy the trip. That’s what it’s all about.
Very poetic meditation on the end of life.
Excellent use of the picture, as well.
Thank you. It was the picture that took me there. Very moving….
I thought this was excellent Randy, so much so I had to read it several times, extracting more each time. It also drove me to look more closely at the photograph, (not to mention googling the word chiaroscuro), and to recognise the depth of the technique. What’s interesting about the photo (which I hadn’t noticed before) is the way light seems to cling around the silhouette of the background and foreground trees, which is something I remember reading about years back. The author was claiming that if you looked closely and long enough at trees, plants etc you could actually detect their energy fields. Anyway, a powerfully moving piece – really well done.
Wow. Thank you for your kind words, analysis, and for your own experiences/thoughts.
I really like to do a “felt sense” about a picture. And this one, in particular, moved me.
I’d like, if I may indulge you (and myself) for a moment, suggest that you might want to spend a moment with this one, which is one of my favorites:
A very intuitive interpretation of both the prompt and the photograph. Really well done.
Thank you, Andrew.
Gorgeously evocative writing, like Sandra said, it deserved several readings to truly take it all in, a welcome piece of writing!
Wow double. Thank you for your kind words.
The humorist in me wants to thank my producers, my editors, the photographer, those wonderful blog people ermiliablog@wordpress, the casting staff, the gaff boys, the chauffeurs and valets, my hair dresser, my geek squad computer technician, the Lord who created this great earth for the shot to be taken and imbuing me with the gift of writing about it, my wife, Debbie, and my children and grandchildren, my dog Riley, my writers’ workshop, my full time day job which keeps us financially stable, and my mother…
Now, I’m really going to break down and cry. I want to also thank Breyers for making the best chocolate ice cream which has sustained me in my most despairing moments. And thanks to you -all my readers – for without you my life is an empty bowl which would never reach the apex of that dreaming place.
Mu-wah. Big KISS.
(I don’t handle praise well, in case you hadn’t noticed – but thanks again, Ms. Shambrook!)
Ok that does it! Anybody who can write like this definitely has to be president!
I gagged slightly at ‘old person’s psoriasis’, lol! – but a thoughtful and emotive piece.
sorry about your gag reflex…
spending some time visiting at nursing homes may help desensitize you a little to that.
Thank you for you comment.