It Doesn’t Take an Einstein to Bake a Bagel

Baking can be fun in the New World, but some misses are inevitable…

I had a free moment this morning while sipping my wake up coffee, after, but still working through the clean up phase of Hurricane Irma. I haven’t participated in a good while, but since this idea just baked itself (excuse the pun) in my little head, I had to jot it down, and then decided to submit it. Love to you all, Randy

Each week Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts a pic to write a 100 word story about.

@ Kelvin M. Knight

It Doesn’t Take an Einstein to Bake a Bagel

Myron, this bread in the New World is not selling.
I know, Albert. I don’t understand.
I told you it wouldn’t sell.
I thought for sure it would. It’s America. They love gimmicks.
I know, Myron, but they see it as bread with a hole in it.
It’s not a hole, it’s a heart!
They don’t get it.
Albert, it’s Heartland Bread. How could they not “get it”? We market it to mainstream        America.
It means nothing if they feel cheated out of the middle.
Okay, we’ll go with your idea.
So… we’ll just make bagels?
Bagels it is, Albert.

Randy Mazie


35 thoughts on “It Doesn’t Take an Einstein to Bake a Bagel

  1. Dear Randy,

    It never ceases to amaze me how commonplace bagels have become. Growing up in the Midwest the only people who knew what bagels were were Jews. I remember other kids at school asking what kind of weird sandwich I was eating at lunch. (Fuhget about explaining lox and cream cheese ๐Ÿ˜‰ )
    Love your story…particularly the title. Can I get a shmear on that pun?


    PS glad you’re alive and well.

    • Thanks, Rochelle. Growing up in New York I had no idea what the Heartland was. Almost every corner had a bagel shop, and from Saturday night through Sunday midday, even with all those bagel shops, lines would be out the door. You bought a dozen bagels in a brown paper bag and they would be warm and smelled terrific all the way home in the car.

      PS We’re glad we’re alive and well too. But the cleanup is taking a long time.And frankly, I’m tired of this; numb, dumb, and tired. I’m ready to go.


      PPS and yes, you can get a shmear any time your heart(land) desires.

    • To me, I see a rooster. But then again, I raise hens.

      And that’s what the family’s Jewish Queen, Aunt Tonette, said to me when I told her that people were starving in other countries:
      Let them eat bagels.


  2. Creativity curbed by the ‘heartless’ people. One could have filled the hearts with something special. I think heartland should not loose hope. I will surely buy this bread…..
    Well written ๐Ÿ™‚ i hope you have more such idea while sipping the coffee moments. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Thank you. I generally drink tea, though.

      What’s your address as I am glad to hear you are a potential Heartland Bread customer, We may resurrect our product. And as I’m writing this, I am considering starting a sister product of Resurrection Bread. No hearts, just holes that point upward toward heaven. ๐Ÿ˜‰


  3. This is a very interesting angle to bread with a hole. Makes me wonder what those NY bagels tasted like. I don’t like the heaviness of the ones we can buy butt they are filling.
    As for Heartland, I think of that as the American Midwest.
    Glad you stayed safe through Irma. Where do you live? The folks who made it through Harvey will feel upstaged.

    • Davie, Florida. Just west of Ft. Lauderdale.
      We dodged the worst of the bullet again. I feel sorry for my westerly neighbors. Don’t know how many more times, we will dodge the bullet.
      This is getting old. I’ve had enough.
      Pass me a bagel, will ya?

  4. Hi Randy! This is my first time on your blog and I must admit, what a clever, amusing tale you spun. So many puns in that one tiny tale….such an entertaining read. ยดItยดs America! They love gimmicksยด…lol. The hole and the heart reference took me back to the old world song ยดThereยดs hole in my heart, dear Lizaยด…lol. Such a delight! Keep writing and I will surely be coming back for more. ๐Ÿ™‚

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