Baking can be fun in the New World, but some misses are inevitable…
I had a free moment this morning while sipping my wake up coffee, after, but still working through the clean up phase of Hurricane Irma. I haven’t participated in a good while, but since this idea just baked itself (excuse the pun) in my little head, I had to jot it down, and then decided to submit it. Love to you all, Randy
Each week Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts a pic to write a 100 word story about.
@ Kelvin M. Knight
It Doesn’t Take an Einstein to Bake a Bagel
Myron, this bread in the New World is not selling.
I know, Albert. I don’t understand.
I told you it wouldn’t sell.
I thought for sure it would. It’s America. They love gimmicks.
I know, Myron, but they see it as bread with a hole in it.
It’s not a hole, it’s a heart!
They don’t get it.
Albert, it’s Heartland Bread. How could they not “get it”? We market it to mainstream America.
It means nothing if they feel cheated out of the middle.
Okay, we’ll go with your idea.
So… we’ll just make bagels?
Bagels it is, Albert.
Randy Mazie
The Writer's Village 
I don’t understand. Americans love donuts and they have a hole too.
doughnuts yes, holy bread no.
(And yes, the pun with holy was intended).
Myron and Albert felt that bagels were really the best Holy Bread.
Thanks for commenting, James.
Randy
I’m with James…if it’s got a hole, then all the calories are gone, right? 🙂 Love the story.
Then Myron and Albert should have marketed it as a diet bread, no?
Thanks for commenting.
Randy
Great story. And James? Donuts are SUPPOSED to have holes 🙂 Otherwise a donut would just be another fry cake 🙂
Fry cake? Who is making fry cakes? What means this Fry cake? Is it like a matzah brie?
Thanks for commenting.
Randy
I don’t know for sure what a matzah brie is, but fry cakes are just donuts without holes 🙂 Here’s one version. There are hundreds, depending on what part of the USA you happen to be in:
http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2012/11/tgi-fry-day-sweet-potato-cakes-at-legend.html
I should check put your likn but we call donuts without holes Bismarks and we fill them with various jams or creamy pudding. That was part of my job at Robins Donuts.
Yes, we have the same treat, but we also have just the plain fried dough with perhaps a sprinkle of powdered sugar or a drizzle of icing. I’m not crazy about them, unless they’re made with pumpkin or something else to give them a unique flavor.
Dear Randy,
It never ceases to amaze me how commonplace bagels have become. Growing up in the Midwest the only people who knew what bagels were were Jews. I remember other kids at school asking what kind of weird sandwich I was eating at lunch. (Fuhget about explaining lox and cream cheese 😉 )
Love your story…particularly the title. Can I get a shmear on that pun?
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS glad you’re alive and well.
Thanks, Rochelle. Growing up in New York I had no idea what the Heartland was. Almost every corner had a bagel shop, and from Saturday night through Sunday midday, even with all those bagel shops, lines would be out the door. You bought a dozen bagels in a brown paper bag and they would be warm and smelled terrific all the way home in the car.
PS We’re glad we’re alive and well too. But the cleanup is taking a long time.And frankly, I’m tired of this; numb, dumb, and tired. I’m ready to go.
Randy
PPS and yes, you can get a shmear any time your heart(land) desires.
I’d prefer the holy bread I reckon. Largely because I’m not entirely sure what a bagel is, apart from everyone eating them on American TV programmes 🙂
Dear Draliman,
Sorry to read that you’ve never had a bagel. They say you haven’t really lived until you’ve had one. Maybe some day you’ll experience the utter bliss.
Randy
I do suddenly feel like I’m missing out.
I think bagels are an acquired taste. At least the bagels I’ve had are “heavy” and not light like bread. They remind me of what we call English muffins but tend to be whole grain and of course have a hole. My husband likes them.
It’s so obviously a heart not a hole. Some people just don’t deserve loving bread. Let them eat bagels. 🙂
To me, I see a rooster. But then again, I raise hens.
And that’s what the family’s Jewish Queen, Aunt Tonette, said to me when I told her that people were starving in other countries:
Let them eat bagels.
Oy.
Randy
most definitely, a half-baked story it is not. had fun reading it. well done.
Wait, I’m confused.
Was it half-baked – or was it well done?
😉
Randy
just about right. 🙂
😉
Creativity curbed by the ‘heartless’ people. One could have filled the hearts with something special. I think heartland should not loose hope. I will surely buy this bread…..
Well written 🙂 i hope you have more such idea while sipping the coffee moments. 🙂
Thank you. I generally drink tea, though.
What’s your address as I am glad to hear you are a potential Heartland Bread customer, We may resurrect our product. And as I’m writing this, I am considering starting a sister product of Resurrection Bread. No hearts, just holes that point upward toward heaven. 😉
Randy
Very fresh take bread😊
and very fresh bread for taking.
(Ha. Thanks for commenting.)
Randy
This is a very interesting angle to bread with a hole. Makes me wonder what those NY bagels tasted like. I don’t like the heaviness of the ones we can buy butt they are filling.
As for Heartland, I think of that as the American Midwest.
Glad you stayed safe through Irma. Where do you live? The folks who made it through Harvey will feel upstaged.
Davie, Florida. Just west of Ft. Lauderdale.
We dodged the worst of the bullet again. I feel sorry for my westerly neighbors. Don’t know how many more times, we will dodge the bullet.
This is getting old. I’ve had enough.
Pass me a bagel, will ya?
Randy
Very creative and great fun to read.
Thanks, Randy
I think you did a delicious job with your story. I love the dialogue. Stay well. I’m glad you’re safe and mostly sound.
Thank you for your comments. They were very tasty.
Randy
Hi Randy! This is my first time on your blog and I must admit, what a clever, amusing tale you spun. So many puns in that one tiny tale….such an entertaining read. ´It´s America! They love gimmicks´…lol. The hole and the heart reference took me back to the old world song ´There´s hole in my heart, dear Liza´…lol. Such a delight! Keep writing and I will surely be coming back for more. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it. I look forward to your visiting again. Thanks for commenting.
Randy
I loved all the puns in this very clever story.
Good to “see” you.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Good to be “seen”, ya know.
Thanks, Dawn
Randy