To Rochelle, To Goats, To Life (L’Chaim): Friday Fictioneers

Wasn’t that title: Annie, get your goat? That slogan: Goat for the gold? Where do goats vacation? In a goat-tel.

Friday Fictioneers – it’s not just for Fridays anymore.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts a pic (this week it’s mine!) to write a 100 word story about. But don’t let it get your goat!

It’s humor time again!!!!!

Randy Mazie @ The Writers Village

Randy Mazie @ The Writers Village

Making Goat Money: Two 100 Words or Less Goat Tails

I. Billy’s World Famous Goat Ranch

I wear a goatee.
I call everyone “old goats”.
I yell at everyone that they’re “really getting my goat”.
My favorite expression? Go to it! Which sounds like “Goat to it.”
My name is Billy. Laugh all you want.
My last name is Idol.
Don’t ask me if I’m unemployed. Is Billy Idol?
Old joke – along with Billy the Kid.
So, my friend, now that we got all that put aside – let me know which one you like. I’ll give you for a real good price for the night. A little doe for little dough. Now, that’s funny.

II. Don’t Let Them Get Your Goats: Be Happy!

It was my backyard. I had no work. For a while I raised goats hoping I’d make a little something selling goat meat. It cost more to raise them than I got from selling them,

Money don’t come easy. So I turned the backyard into a cemetery.
People pay good money to die.

Now I’m happy. Dead people happy. And me goats are now happy, too.

Randy Mazie

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88 thoughts on “To Rochelle, To Goats, To Life (L’Chaim): Friday Fictioneers

    • Oh, a wiseguy, can’t say, huh? Nyuk, Nyuk. Nyuk.
      What are you a politician? Afraid to get my goat by choosing?
      Well, you just get down off your high fence, Missy Z.
      Sometimes in life you got to make a choice.
      Go ahead make my day. Is your #1 my #2, or will we both make #1 #1 together.
      Ha, this is so much fun…

  1. Hi Randy,

    Loved the photo this week, although it was tough to come up with a story I liked from it. Of yours, I preferred the second one – seems more like a complete tale.

  2. Goats in the cemetery–that’s one way to keep the weeds and brush trimmed but they’re not too fond of grass so you still need a lawn mower. I’m very fond of “corn” so #1 is my favorite (although you have to careful not to feed too much corn to goats).

    • Well, there you are mon. You’re hired. I’m expanding me cemetery around de Island, mon – and I need a knowledgeable worker like you. Drop me a line and I’m sure we can work sumptin’ out. Fancy you. Corn indeed.

    • I thought it was great when I visited the cemetery in Jamaica, seeing the goats and the graveyard and the people resting on the tombs in the shade… Thought it would be interesting fodder for stories. Randy

  3. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Graveyard Shift | Alastair's Blog

  4. Little Johnny’s goat was hit by a car, and unfortunately, died. Mom and dad tried their best to console their young son. “You know, Johnny, it’s not your fault the goat died, it was just fate.”
    But Little Johnny would have none of it.
    So, in a last gasp attempt, Little Johnny’s dad said, “He’s probably up in Heaven right now with God. He’ll be happy there, so you don’t have to feel bad anymore.”
    Little Johnny asked, “What would God want with a dead goat?

    • And little Johnny’s father raised a menacing eyebrow, and bellowed at his son, “Who are you to question God?”
      And little Johnny bellowed back, “You taught me to question everything, father.”
      “Well,” the father backed off, “in that case, maybe God doesn’t really need a dead goat. Do you want one, son?”
      “What a marone!” Johnny slapped himself in the head, then shook it from side-to-side, and declared, “Dad, you need to stop smoking that stuff. And if you did, maybe you wouldn’t have hit the goat in the first place.”

  5. Hi Randy,
    First of all, thanks for a great photo to write from. Second, thanks for the humor. I’ve noticed here in the south when people say “Go ahead,” it sounds like they are saying goat head. So goat head, make me laugh. Ron

    • who you calling goat head?
      Ha. I hope you do laugh. i love to laugh and have a great time here with humorous anecdotes and responses. it’s all meant in fun and i hope that everyone takes it that way. I have a good time laughing while rereading the comments and responses.
      Thanks, Ron
      Randy

  6. Love the humor in your goat tail (tale).

    I enjoy dabbling in writing (though I don’t feel I am very good at it – hmmmm isn’t that what all “writers/bloggers” say). I’ve managed to get myself involved in a number of writing challenges (though not all are on a regular basis) and find myself enjoying them immensely. Yours looks like an interesting blog to follow and I’ll do my best to do so

    Tena Carr
    http://www.jottingsandwritings.wordpress.com

  7. I liked the first one better because bad puns make me laugh. The second was good too but I’m an animal lover and cannot imagine rearing animals to butcher them. I wonder whether you can actually make a living out of turning your backyard into a graveyard. hahaha
    By the way, where did you take the photograph – am so curious.

    • I took the photos in Jamaica while I was on a cruise. We stopped in port and the graveyard was behind one of the churches that they take you to on one of the tours.
      And what you mean bad puns? All my puns are of the highest quality and if you say otherwise I might have to punish you.

      And lastly, just for your information, no goats were butchered in a processing of the words that went into the making of either of these two compositions.
      Thank you for visiting, Randy

  8. They are both rich with things to make one laugh Randy. Number two is seriously funny, or maybe that should be unseriously funny. So two gets my vote. Thanks for the photo prompt, brought back a few goat memories for me!

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