Ever wonder what a guard thinks about while they’re on duty…
Friday Fictioneers – it’s not just for Fridays. It’s any time that Rochelle Wisoff-Fields posts a pic to write a 100 word story about. This week be on guard though.
This week it’s: humor
copyright -Managua Gunn
Thoughts from Guard Duty
I’m dying. It’s four hours. Where the hell is the next shift?
First days back are always tough – but worse if you partied all weekend.
I can’t hold it much longer. I should have gone before I started duty, but I was already late.
And this job doesn’t allow jumping up and down in order to hold it in. I was hoping I’d sweat it out, but it’s too cool today. Where the hell is that next shift already?
I might be the first guard ever to pee their pants. Probably not, but it’s still gonna be a huge embarrassment.
Randy Mazie
The Writer's Village 
I’d feel terribly embarrassed! A funny story.
Do you think they wear Depends?
Never thought of that one!
Really?
Guarding your thoughts too well, I presume.
After all, they are dependable, right?
right. DEPEND-able
Funny how that picture has prompted that thought… I wonder what they do about it? Fun story.
Loved your “Stiff Upper Lip”. More thoughts from Guard Duty. What goes through their minds – and worse yet – their physicality. Randy
Dear Randy,
If he’s wearing dark pants maybe no one will notice. You and EL can compare notes on the rear-guard. Potty like a rockstar!
Shalom,
Rochelle
Potty like a rockstar!
Now that’s cute.
More like peeing out of necessity than being scared. Then again, being scared would initiate the “other” reaction! Good stuff, Randy!
Too much stuff, if you ask me.
Thanks. Enjoyed your stuff this week and left some comments there. Randy
The poor guy. The thing is! He was out the night before. If you want to dance you have to pay the piper.
I know, right? Can’t dance in a closet.
In some respects, we were on the same track here. Funny post!
“There! 100 feet out, to the left! An eight year old peeing in the ocean!”
I love it!!!!!!!
That and having way too much time to think would be major problems. As for genre, maybe you should only list it if it isn’t humor. 🙂
janet
Now – that’s funny.
You gotta wonder how many times this has actually happened. This one gave a smile. Thanks for that.
gotto wonder.
I have to go just wondering.
Oops! What with the constant reminder of water (the sea in the pic), it’s hard to resist the temptation to take a quick leak. Hahahahah 😀 😀
Funny story!
Ooh. Talking of all that water… Got to go. Thanks Randy
After all the experience in his job, he should have been more careful, right? Fun read:)
Right. But sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and keep a stiff upper zipper.. or is that a zip upper stiffer. Whatever… Randy
Perhaps there’s a unique physical endurance test which candidates must pass before consideration….
there you go… but if I failed that would really piss me off, so to speak. Randy
Very funny… (but I can tell a secret— each guard is only 2 hours)
uh-oh. You were supposed to guard that secret. You’d never make it in the guard corp!
I did my 2 days many years ago…:-)
So, that was, let’s see, all of 4 hours? 2 hours each day times 2 days.
I think you need at least 6 hours to really get the hang of guarding secrets. Wouldn’t you say?
el and your thoughts seem to have been telepathic ! poor guards…
telepathic or pathetic? (at least in my case – I don’t watch the tele).
telepathy… 🙂 both ur stories are good
Dear Randy,
Having stood many such long watches, I feel compelled to let you in on a secret…
You see those tall boots? There’s a form fitting cup and a hose that splits and runs down both legs. No one ever knows.
Aloha,
Doug
I love it. Ha.
But once you use it, urine them for hours, n’est pas?
Randy
Warm feet, warm heart, short watch….
Oh wouldn’t it be loverly…
you’ll both excuse me, but yech
And now he’s thought it, he’ll have to go. How about incontinence pads for guard duty? Apparently that’s what the UK royals use deal with the problem of sitting though long occasions.
Wait. The UK Roayls? They’re incontinent different from America already, right?
Painful guard duty problems…& not to mention late to work !?! Hey, I think I know this character! 😊
me, too!
😆
Thanks, sunshine
You’re welcome! I really like your tall pencil/pen holding fella gravatar image. 😊
thanks, – but that’s what all the women say 😉
(but the truth is: the pen/pencil is mightier, or at least bigger, than the writer!)
Great idea, have often wondered how they manage. I am also wondering where Sarah Ann got the info about our Royal Family wearing incontinence pads….. fascinating
Please don’t embarrass her by asking.
Pragmatic 🙂
not really – judeo/christian.
Let’s hope there is not a massive fountain nearby huh?
Oooh. Just the thought of it makes me wanna go.