Some of us are not aware of our surroundings – until there are no more surroundings…
Lillie McFerrin posts a “Five Sentence Fiction” prompt.
This week it is: Empty
Empty (I’m Not in the Picture)
What you don’t see is me in the picture – and I’m sorry to say you never will
I’m actually sitting in the seat in front of all these empty benches, and I’ve looked around only to see nobody is there anymore.
I had been sitting facing forward with my ear buds in, listening to music, minding my own business, eyes closed, and, as I often am, in my usual dream state.
Then I’m thinking I hear something like, “Do you have a date?”, and I’m thinking that that’s strange, and so I start to look around to figure out who might have said it, and I notice there are no passengers anymore which I think is really strange, and then I turn around and see the front door of the bus is open, and I notice the driver is leaping out of the bus, and then I look through the front windshield and realize that we’re about to go over a cliff, except there is no we, it’s only me.
And then it crosses my mind that no one has asked me if I have a date, and the word that I missed was:
EVACUATE
and then I shrug my shoulders thinking that I might as well have heard, “It’s too late”, as I turn up the music and go flying through the air.
Randy Mazie
I love the chilling feel to this.
Surely you’re talking about the empty bus
because my piece was supposed to have a comical edge to it.
Oh well…
I’ll just put my headset back on and ….
What a fabulous literary ride! I loved how you put yourself in the picture, but not. Wonderfully imaginative and fun, Randy. I have to share this. It’s one of my favorites of the week.
Thanks.
Who are we sharing with?
And what?
I hope not the bus ride because that’s over. Finis. Finale. The end. Adios. Adieau.
Randy 😉
So blasé as s/he hurtles off the cliff. I really enjoyed this piece and the thought process going through the head of your protagonist.
hey, that’s my head you’re referring to…
😉
Randy
Did he die?
Do I know you?
Yes
😉
Made me smile, and made me think it’s a metaphor for life these days! 😉
you are so right.
And if not a metaphor…certainly a mirror.
Thanks,
Randy
I always enjoy your writing…this one, too.
thanks
Fantastic!!! This made me smile the entire time I was reading 🙂
To smile is good.
Smile a lot is great.
Smile all the time is, well, phenomenal.
And I think I’m smiling all the time while I’m writing this.
Thanks for your comments, Randy
Wow… clever and powerful word play going on here… stunning ending! This was very creative work!
Thank you for your very descriptive comments.
Randy
Randy, this reminds me of a dream, but set in a very real scenario. Thanks for commenting on my poem.
Pamela
You’re welcome. But no need to thank me…
The poem stood on its own merits