A few little twisted Christmas tongue twisters…
Twisted Christmas Tongue Twisters
My 13 year old niece and I were “hanging” – no, make that “chillin'”- at the house – no, make that in uncle’s “crib” – tonight and having a lot of fun – no, make that “gettin’ down” – writing together. We used all that old-fashioned stuff called a dictionary and thesaurus.
This is our Christmas version of the old tongue twister “Wood Chuck”:
“How much stuff could a stocking stuffer stuff if a stocking stuffer could stock stuff?”
Here’s a profane version by my niece (dirty little thing):
“How much Ho could a Ho-Ho Ho if a Ho-Ho could Ho-Ho?”
or
“How much Santa could a Santa Clause Claw if a Santa Clause could claw Santa?”
How about “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers” remastered:
Kris Kringle carolled with a communal Christmas chorus
Try this relentlessly updated and extended version of “Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers”:
Rudolph Reindeer writes on rich ripe righteous radishes, right?
Love,
Randy and Remi
fer real, fer sure
The Writer's Village 
Randy, they let your niece chill with you? Was there adult supervision?
I know. I know. I agree, Paul. I said to my wife, I like kids too much (I really have a good time with them) but I don’t think I’m a good influence on her. I’m getting too old to set good limits.
Meanwhile, my niece came in to me because my wife and my sister-in-law were talking about fetishism and the thought of masks scares my niece – and I’m less scary? What a family. What a world.
We are like the Addams Family of black humor and weirdness. All of us need a little adult supervision. Want the job? You seem pretty straight laced like the orderlie’s shoes in one flew over the cuckoo’s nest (I would have written nurse but I think you wouldn’t have found that funny).
Randy
For me to supervise, you’d have to ask Lynn and I doubt she’d approve. She is always accusing me of not having matured past the age of 13 and I have to pretty much agree with her. You and me together with a teenager (of either sex)? Now that’s scary!
I think I’d have to agree with you