The Ogremonster in the Tree House: Friday Fictioneers

Each week Friday Fictioneers – Madison Woods posts a pic
that begs to have a 100 word story written about it.
Visit Madison Woods’ site if you’d like to see and/or learn more.

copyright lura helms – reprinted from Friday Fictioneers


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Ogremonster in the Tree House

(revised version)

I’m not touching that.
What is it?
Don’t know.
Scary.
Let’s go over to Dennis’ house instead.
Yeah, the tree house is probably wet from the rain anyway.
Don’t tell Dennis what we saw.
I know. He’ll call us stupid like he usually does. I hate him.
Maybe this thing’ll grow and become a gigantus ogremonster.
Then we could bring Dennis over and…
It’ll eat him. Tee-hee.
Ooh, I’d like to see him cry like a girl.
Let’s go to the park instead of Dennis’.
Yeah, let Dennis come here on his own tomorrow. We’ll hide and hope it…

Randy Mazie
************************************************************************

(original version)

Ooh. I’m not touching that.
What is it?
Don’t know, but it’s big.
Scary.
Let’s go over to Dennis’ house instead.
Yeah, the tree house is probably wet from the rain anyway.
Yeah. I bet it’s all wet.
Let’s not tell Dennis what we saw.
I won’t. He wouldn’t believe us no way.
Maybe it’ll be gone by tomorrow.
Maybe. Or, maybe it’ll grow and become a gigantus ogremonster
Yeah. Then maybe we can bring Dennis over and it’ll eat him.
Yeah, let it eat Dennis. Tee-hee.
How about we just go to the park now instead?
Fine with me.

Randy Mazie

21 thoughts on “The Ogremonster in the Tree House: Friday Fictioneers

    • love that image. I physically reacted to it so I must have had something like that in my childhood where we believed that inanimate objects could mysteriuously come to life if we did something. Thanks, Randy

    • From the feedback, I missed my mark or “the twist” today. I had worried about it when I wrote the line, if it needed another word or two to convey what I had hoped the line would impart. After the kid thought about and laughed about Dennis getting eaten, the kids switched their play agenda from going to Dennis’ house to going to the park. I was hoping – trying to convey – a sense of guilt and/or worry that a child (and even we as adults) may feel after we’ve expressed a wish that evokes guilt and/or an accompanying fear of retribution.

      “You know what? I just wished Dennis dead. Maybe we ought to not visit him right now. Maybe we should just do something else.Ha.”
      Thanks and aloha, Doug.

      Randy

  1. I think the switch from maybe it will eat Dennis to going to the park conveys both the short attention spans of younger children (at least sometimes) and the sense that they both knew not only would it not eat Dennis, but that the remark was in all probability (“Criminal Minds” plots aside), one of those throwaway remarks you don’t really mean. If everyone who said “I could just kill you” meant it, we’d be in big trouble.

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