Each week Friday Fictioneers – Madison Woods posts a pic
that begs to have a 100 word story written about it.
Visit Madison Woods’ site if you’d like to see and/or learn more.
copyright lura helms – reprinted from Friday Fictioneers
The Ogremonster in the Tree House
(revised version)
I’m not touching that.
What is it?
Don’t know.
Scary.
Let’s go over to Dennis’ house instead.
Yeah, the tree house is probably wet from the rain anyway.
Don’t tell Dennis what we saw.
I know. He’ll call us stupid like he usually does. I hate him.
Maybe this thing’ll grow and become a gigantus ogremonster.
Then we could bring Dennis over and…
It’ll eat him. Tee-hee.
Ooh, I’d like to see him cry like a girl.
Let’s go to the park instead of Dennis’.
Yeah, let Dennis come here on his own tomorrow. We’ll hide and hope it…
Randy Mazie
************************************************************************
(original version)
Ooh. I’m not touching that.
What is it?
Don’t know, but it’s big.
Scary.
Let’s go over to Dennis’ house instead.
Yeah, the tree house is probably wet from the rain anyway.
Yeah. I bet it’s all wet.
Let’s not tell Dennis what we saw.
I won’t. He wouldn’t believe us no way.
Maybe it’ll be gone by tomorrow.
Maybe. Or, maybe it’ll grow and become a gigantus ogremonster
Yeah. Then maybe we can bring Dennis over and it’ll eat him.
Yeah, let it eat Dennis. Tee-hee.
How about we just go to the park now instead?
Fine with me.
Randy Mazie
The Writer's Village 
How quickly the kids tired of their imaginings. Cute. I can hear the voices.
Thanks for commenting on mine.
For those who happen by I’m here: http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/casuatly-of-war.html
hi Rochelle – and thanks for visiting. Randy
The childrens’ voices are so convincing—egging each other on to sic this thing on the missing kid, easily distracted by other ideas, great!
cheers,
Lorelei
http://westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-fork.html
ooohhh, we could have had them “egging” that thing in the tree. It could have been Halloween. Yippee, another story.
Thanks for visiting, Randy
Great dialogue, very realistic.
“Thank you, Sandra.”
He waited a moment.
“I appreciate the nice remarks.”
She smiled;
“No problem, hon.” 🙂
😉
Kids and their imagination!
Reminds me of a tree in a park near our house. As children we believed the tree had a wolf trapped withing it and if you touched the tree the wolf would jump out! Haha!!
love that image. I physically reacted to it so I must have had something like that in my childhood where we believed that inanimate objects could mysteriuously come to life if we did something. Thanks, Randy
Great use of the kids voices to tell the story. They are so in the moment!
http://anneorchardwriter.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/tree-hugger-friday-fictioneers/
yeah … but if they only knew which moment. Which reminds me – I’m still trying to figure that out. Thanks for stopping by. Randy
You captured the kids of today with vivid imaginations…fed on monster movies and short attention spans. Nice work. I’m #30.
Thanks. I’ll get there shortly. Randy
I get the sense that I’m missing something in this piece. i’m going to massage it some more and see what comes up. For now let me just say that I think it is good on the surface, the level we first see. There’s more to it though, i’m sure.
Aloha for now,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/love-pays-the-butchers-bill/
From the feedback, I missed my mark or “the twist” today. I had worried about it when I wrote the line, if it needed another word or two to convey what I had hoped the line would impart. After the kid thought about and laughed about Dennis getting eaten, the kids switched their play agenda from going to Dennis’ house to going to the park. I was hoping – trying to convey – a sense of guilt and/or worry that a child (and even we as adults) may feel after we’ve expressed a wish that evokes guilt and/or an accompanying fear of retribution.
“You know what? I just wished Dennis dead. Maybe we ought to not visit him right now. Maybe we should just do something else.Ha.”
Thanks and aloha, Doug.
Randy
I think the switch from maybe it will eat Dennis to going to the park conveys both the short attention spans of younger children (at least sometimes) and the sense that they both knew not only would it not eat Dennis, but that the remark was in all probability (“Criminal Minds” plots aside), one of those throwaway remarks you don’t really mean. If everyone who said “I could just kill you” meant it, we’d be in big trouble.
Kids and mischief! Mine is here and linked: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/fridayfictioneers-the-withered-flower/
So like an imaginative child–kid-eating monsters one minute, the park the next. Oh, to be so uninhibited.
Sounds like they don’t much care for Dennis. I dont’ blame them. Dennis is annoying. I say let the orgemonster have him.
good for you! wanna come to the park with us and play?