Joe the Waiter’s One-liners from the Shellfish Grill: Friday Fictioneers

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Joe the Waiter’s One-liners from the Shellfish Grill.

“If they’re fresh, why bring the whole Atlantic shelf?”

“I ordered clams. I’m not paying extra for the ocean view.”

“Empty shells in water do not prove your clams are fresh.”

“I ordered clams on the half shell, not half shells.”

Joe does his Three Stooges’ Curley impersonation with customers:
“Oh, a wise guy! Keep it up and I’ll give you a shell-aking. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk.”

Joe’s manager, like Moe, plays along:
“Curley! Clamming up on our customers, eh? I’ll teach you life’s no oyster.”

He yanks Joe/Curley by his ear who shrieks: “Ouch. Ouch. Ouch”

Join us at the Shellfish Grill.

The End

Out Takes
“I asked for a beer and you said that’ll be two clams. So here they are.”
“My wife said that I was being selfish, not that I wanted shellfish.”
“I said I felt clammy. I didn’t order clams.”
“If you get drunk, I’m taking you to a shell-ter.”
“I have a great shell-abus for that class. Wait. Did I actually say shell-abus?”
“I’ll take my eyes off your half shells, when you get your half shells away from my eyes.”

Randy Mazie