Joe the Waiter’s One-liners from the Shellfish Grill: Friday Fictioneers

Each week Friday Fictioneers – Madison Woods posts a pic that begs to have a 100 word story written about it. Visit Madison Woods’ site if you’d like to see and/or learn more.

Joe the Waiter’s One-liners from the Shellfish Grill.

“If they’re fresh, why bring the whole Atlantic shelf?”

“I ordered clams. I’m not paying extra for the ocean view.”

“Empty shells in water do not prove your clams are fresh.”

“I ordered clams on the half shell, not half shells.”

Joe does his Three Stooges’ Curley impersonation with customers:
“Oh, a wise guy! Keep it up and I’ll give you a shell-aking. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk.”

Joe’s manager, like Moe, plays along:
“Curley! Clamming up on our customers, eh? I’ll teach you life’s no oyster.”

He yanks Joe/Curley by his ear who shrieks: “Ouch. Ouch. Ouch”

Join us at the Shellfish Grill.

The End

Out Takes
“I asked for a beer and you said that’ll be two clams. So here they are.”
“My wife said that I was being selfish, not that I wanted shellfish.”
“I said I felt clammy. I didn’t order clams.”
“If you get drunk, I’m taking you to a shell-ter.”
“I have a great shell-abus for that class. Wait. Did I actually say shell-abus?”
“I’ll take my eyes off your half shells, when you get your half shells away from my eyes.”

Randy Mazie

32 thoughts on “Joe the Waiter’s One-liners from the Shellfish Grill: Friday Fictioneers

    • Hi Doug, I will be looking up and reading Russel Gayer’s work. Thanks for the idea.
      Joe will be over to your table shortly doing his Curly routine because of your clam remark.
      But I understand Moe will be pulling you both by the ear into the kitchen for clamming up like that.
      Aloha, Randy

  1. I shell just say that I’m glad you didn’t clam up and not write anything this week. Otherwise, we couldn’t sea all the fishy one-liners. 🙂 This gave me something to octopi my mind.

    • I love your response!
      I’m glad to read and have those sweet surf-like words ripple over me.
      They are new found oysterly pearls. Your octopied mind was brilliant!
      Cast your lines, one or multiple, upon my word ocean anytime.
      It will net us both a lot of fun – and hopefully scun-giggles.

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