Gambino: The Stage Struck English Teacher Teaches Human Sexuality

Everyone has a school teacher they’ll never forget. Mine was an 8th grade English lit teacher by the name of Mr. Gambino. He was a frustrated English teacher and failed Shakespearean actor.

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Gambino: The Stage Struck English Teacher Teaches Human Sexuality

One of the best moments we ever had with Mr. Gambino didn’t even happen in his class. That moment, which was really an event or a happening, was when he decided to collaborate with our human sexuality teacher. Gambino, who was never known to fraternize with the other teachers as they obviously thought him as odd as we did, was one day approached by Mr. Spoltic, our gym teacher cum sex tutor as we liked to call him.

Spoltic, so the story goes, wanted to spice up one of his classes and thought that a guest appearance by Gambino might just do the trick. Where he ever got that idea from we don’t know. It was crazy. We often thought it must have been after some basketball game in which our school had trounced a rival’s team that Spoltic, having celebrated with a 6 pack at home and gotten a lot tipsy, thought it might be a gas to embarrass Gambino by inviting him to perform Shakespeare in his sexuality class.

Little did he know what would be in store for us all

When he approached Gambino with the idea, Gambino was hesitant at first, which was understandable given the loner that he was and the suspicious nature that he had. But after giving it some thought, he really warmed up to the invitation. Spoltic iced the deal by promising Gambino free rein of performance in his class.

Free rein? That’s what really set Gambino on fire.

And it was fire. Fireworks, fired up, on fire… hot, hot, hot!

We had just finished discussing adolescent romance, teenage flirting and responsible relationships, when in walks Gambino reciting no less than the Taming of the Shrew:

Petruchio: Come, come, you wasp! In faith you are too angry!
Katherina: If I be waspish, best beware my sting!
Petruchio: My remedy then is to pluck it out!
Katherina: Hah! If the fool could find where it lies!
Petruchio: Who knows not where a wasp doth wear his sting? In his tail!
Katherina: In his tongue!
Petruchio: Whose tongue?
Katherina: Yours! -if you talk of tales, and so farewell!
Petruchio: What? With my tongue in your tail?

We railed. We hooted, we cat-whistled, we laughed until the tears flowed. We applauded. We high-fived! Spoltic acted like he was pissed off to no end and we heard that he never spoke to Gambino again. Although some of us swear we saw Spoltic grinning from ear-to-ear at our reactions to Gambino’s take on human sexuality.

Gambino, that Stage Struck English Teacher, was all right in our book after that.

Randy Mazie


3 thoughts on “Gambino: The Stage Struck English Teacher Teaches Human Sexuality

  1. Pingback: Gambino: The Stage Struck English Teacher’s Illness | The Writer's Village

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